Work Bully

It's really easy to talk about the pain of being bullied at work when you are talking to friends.  But, it is shameful.  Embarrasing.  You would think that adults would know better and it becomes confusing when you realize that someone is trying to hurt you just because they have a better title than you and they know that they will receive the support of their higher ups no matter how severe or blatant the offence is. 

Is it just an American thing or is it the entire world that is clueless regarding how one human being should treat another?

I really don't like talking about the incidents that I have suffered at work because people are incredulous and are so likely to blame the victim for someone else's behavior. 

How do adults expect to train their children to respect one another if they can't?

You look at the elections and how the candidates are egged on by their constituents?  If the people who are in the highest office in the land only find virtue by post chips on their shoulder and baiting each other to knock it off what kind of example are we setting?

Society is sick.  American society is sick.  Human beings tout themselves as the most intelligent creatures on earth. If how well you can intimidate someone is part of the criteria  We need a new intelligence scale.

Dress? Who Will I Impress

Last night, my young son had an orchestra concert at his school.  I had intended to take him to the barber shop to get his hair cut but, it was too late when he got home. I was not dressed either.  I had on a collared tee from a company that I had signed up to work for eight years ago and my locs were in disarray.  On the way to his school, my daughter called me.  I told her about the fact that my son's hair wasn't cut.  She told me to take him to a barbershop of a friend of hers.  I said no because there is this lady that tries to hit on me when I go in there.  Mommy she fussed at me, " then you need to dress like a girl".

When she said that to me, she touched a part of me that I have ignored.  How I dress.  I think sometimes that I am so busy in my day to day activities that just to put some clothes on to cover my body is enough for me.  Forget the color, condition,  wether they are ironed or wrinkled, the best i can with my garb is "clean".  Clean is good enough for me. And my hair?  Well that's another story.

But, the discussion about the way I dressed got me to thinking. My daughter informed me that if I dressed better that people would treat me better.  So, if I am dressing...not good, does that mean that people have the right to run over me roughshod?  One thing that my oldest didn't consider is that her boss is an abusive dictator who preys on whomever is in front of her. My daughter is a fabulous dresser.  So this brought many thoughts to mind as I struggle this morning,  to get out of the bed because I am feeling so encumbered by the difficulties of life.

One thing is the fact that I am dealing with my bullying boss at work.  Blatantly, not subtley bullying boss.  Does this give her the right to do what it is she does? No. Even if I come into work naked,  I am not responsible for the way someone else chooses to react to me.  Just like they are not responsible for the way that I choose to react to them. 

I would like to be a smart and suave dresser.  That brings to mind other aspects of my life and personality, like what would I wear and where would I wear it to and for what purpose?

 I don't know.

My daughter suggested that it was time for me to start dating.  I haven't dated for years citing the fact that I am trying to get to know myself better. (As a matter of fact, I don't think I've ever REALLY dated, I just married people when they asked).  It's been ten years since I've been married.  I know myself pretty well.  Now I have to get to the point where I have the desire to share myself only temporarily without confessing my undying love at an alter, at least mentally...with some lucky guy.

Life at 54. It's supposed to be getting easier.  Right?