I have spent most of my life trying to introduce myself to the world. Trying to let the world know that I'm okay capable of loving and being loved and that hey!~ I'm here to help. Overestimating my importance in the role of the spin of the world, I felt guilty each time I thought it was whirling in the wrong direction. I have often been confused about what I exist on this earth for, what is mine to control and what is not. I've felt like af failure each time I snapped my fingers and things did not fall into place.
In the world of vicariousness life is fantasy and fiction. Wishes are not horses and beggars always walk where they needed to go. I still fantasize. It keeps me from feeling the lashes of the consequences of some the poor choices that I've made in life and for as long as I can dream, I feel safe. I sleep better.
Real life, though, is part fantasy...interrupted sometimes by the harsh realitiies that we would like to escape but persistently nip at our heels when we try to run away. If it werent for my abiltiy to wish and dream those fantastical dreams, I'm not sure I would have survived, or lived any at all or thrived at all. Some of the realities aren't so harsh...and sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between reality and fantasy. Period.
I realize today that I don't have to work so hard at living life, sifting through the carnage of my choices, struggling to distinquish between what is real and what is not. Living is fact of life...wether we like the way our lives present themselves or not. If we open our eyes every morning...we are bound to live... whether we like the life that we live or not. That is the universe that I came from. The universe created me..it knows me... I don't have to tell the universe who I am.
In the world of vicariousness life is fantasy and fiction. Wishes are not horses and beggars always walk where they needed to go. I still fantasize. It keeps me from feeling the lashes of the consequences of some the poor choices that I've made in life and for as long as I can dream, I feel safe. I sleep better.
Real life, though, is part fantasy...interrupted sometimes by the harsh realitiies that we would like to escape but persistently nip at our heels when we try to run away. If it werent for my abiltiy to wish and dream those fantastical dreams, I'm not sure I would have survived, or lived any at all or thrived at all. Some of the realities aren't so harsh...and sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between reality and fantasy. Period.
I realize today that I don't have to work so hard at living life, sifting through the carnage of my choices, struggling to distinquish between what is real and what is not. Living is fact of life...wether we like the way our lives present themselves or not. If we open our eyes every morning...we are bound to live... whether we like the life that we live or not. That is the universe that I came from. The universe created me..it knows me... I don't have to tell the universe who I am.
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