I've Lost That Bloggin' Feelin'

I was kind of excited when I started this blog.  That was when my life was going the way that I wanted it to. Most days I don't feel like blogging.  Now things ain't goin' like I want them to. I often sit in the corner in life when things aren't going my way and wait till someone says it's okay to get up.Things just can't always be the way you want, that is just life...in living color.

My thing is to try to take things in stride.  As I'm writing I'm thinking..."if things were always the way you wanted them to be, what would you have to strive for...what would be your motivation for making your life better?" I'm surprised that the question came to mind.  But, it has always been adversity that has spurred me to action.  Now, I'm learning to wait in the face of adversity.  Wait until I know it is adversity. Wait until I know what  I can learn.  Wait until I know what it is that I want. Just wait...Sometimes that is what you have to do.

It is hard to wait sometimes.  It's hard to wait when you are hungry...when the bills aren't being paid and your're lights stand to be turned off.  It's hard to wait...to even develop the courage to follow your dreams.
But, I keep getting the message to wait...even in circumstances as dire as mine.  The most difficult thing to do is to follow this bidding. I don't know where it's coming from.  It's just instinct. I guess.

What do I want?  I remember taking off with my life and just running with it when I was younger.  I had know idea where I was going...just an idea of where I wanted to go...No idea how to get there.  The thing is even if you know where you want to go...there are no guarantees in life. So, does it even help to know or is having and idea enough?  I read in the paper a couple of weeks ago about a young woman who wanted to be an actress her entire life. When  she got old enough she went to Hollywood and landed jobs doing commercials and took off with her career.  She decided a few years thereafter, that she wanted to be a doctor to help people.  Go figure.  I suspect that she learned to make a distinction between her job and her calling...

I am waiting...I will wait.