Not Feeling So Groovy

Ever since I quit my job, I've being going through some type of weird emotional up heaval.  At this point, my bank account balance is 0.60 cents.  My electricity is about to be cut off, and I have been struggling to find people to give me references because my boss at my last job-- who offered to give me a good reference-decided not to.  I would be upset but I made the decision to quit my job without having another one, because I needed a breather.  A long breather.  And, frankly, I'm not ready to go back to a steady job.  Not now, maybe not ever.

We are enslaved in this world by materialism.  That's is the purpose for most peoples choice of proffesion and work.  Altruism has gone the way of the dinosaur.  And most people work to support a lifestyle.  I just can't do it, not anymore.  Not for anyone, not for anything.   That is too superficial a way to live. .

I've done it., but I never really achieved that "bling" status that most people are looking for. I will be struggling to eat if I don't land a job soon.

I've always had a plan.  But after so many plans, you find that life happens at it's own pace and decides at the last minute to take it's own course sometimes.  I'm tired.  I talk to people and it seems that the words go right past them without ever making an impact on me or them.  We are a bunch of  capitalistic zombies, just walking around lookng for the next heart to rip out and chow down on.

I know that this seems grim.  But, in the war of spirits.  The battle is on.  I haven't given up or given out.  My issue is that the courage of my convictions have resurfaced at an odd time in my life.  I looked at my daughters facebook page yesterday and she had writtten,
"In a world where you can be anybody but yourself..."
My response was,
"To be anyone but yourself, is to live life as a coward".
She replied,
"Yes!"

By Jove, I think she's got it.!
The truth is,  it is impossible to be anyone but who you are. We betray ourselves when we refuse for our own reasons- or societies, for that matter- to honor that.

My cable was turned off Saturday. My lights may be turned out today.  I may be evicted from my home tomorrow.  
I'm still me and I'm still here.


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