A Mean World

I'm perplexed at the lengths that human beings go through to degrade, demean and oppress one another when life would be so much easier if people would love one another.  Love is so much sweeter and flexible than hate.  Yet we choose hate time and time again to lead us to the depths of despair that we know as life.  I look at postings on facebook and twitter. People post words all of the time, but do the really understand the magnitude of what they are saying?  It seems that in modern day time, we are a bunch of cowards parading our bravado in empty words to strangers on the net that can only put a name to an avatar or picture (neither of which may be true). We are going backwards. People began communication by writing by chiseling symbols on cave walls.  We chisel symbols on our laptop screens, but our ability to communicate is decreasing.
How do we teach our children to live in a world where everything is disengenuous and virual rather than genuine and concrete,
And how do people miss the lessons that the past have so diligently and blatantly taught us.
I know I'm talking in general here but these are just morning thoughts after a day of hard work and an evening of mild to moderate partying and fire works, on a fourth of July evening.
I love life and everyone in it.  People who work hard to make others feel "less than",  do it because they feel "less than".  It's hard to see with all of the makeup and fanfare and media and money.  But it is there... up close and personal. if they would only look into the camera lenses and recognize who is staring back at them...Maybe, they would begin to understand the magnitude of the despair that they are working so hard to spread, and then start on the road to becoming happier people.

My Dysfunction

It is the most disastrous and dysfunctional enviroment i've ever worked in but the cuddlefish in me says that I'm gong to just stay here blend in and make myself comfortable. By the way, that cuddlefish moved every which way...But the environment was not the right one.  The scientists even moved the environment around to see if they could elicit, the correct response but no way. Cuddlefish lesson #2: NO ONE IS COMFORTABLE IN A DYSFUNCTIONAL ENVIRONMENT-not even the people who are the source of the dysfunction.

I have often been used to chaotic environments and felt alive and well in them.  I don't like dysfunctional environments anymore but my low self-esteem still whispers softly (but less frequently) to me, you deserve to be abused and used and besides these people need you to make themselves feel like big people because you are smarter than they are and it makes them feels like kings and queens to try and control you and if they take the time to be bothered with you at all you owe them because you  are insignificant. (I don't really believe this anymore but old habits die hard and so do old belief systems),  So, is that nuts or what?

I have given so much of myself away so often that it has been a way of life  I've gotten better at preserving my emotional and spiritual integrity,  but in no way have I mastered the skill.  I keep looking around for people to love me and take care of me but, even when I find them, they can't give me the love and care that I feel that I need. Besides, everyone's definition of love is changing and evolving at different speeds.  That's why it's important to love yourself first, that way you can define love in whatever way you want.

I am perfectly capable of loving and taking care of myself but oh what a difficult task.  I will keep working at it until the day my heart stops beating and my lungs collapse. <~~~~~(Extreme do or die statement).
One of my favorite sayings is: "It's a long road from here to there"...I'm closer but I am no where near:THERE.