Not A writing Kinda Day

I had these severe sugar cravings that started about a week ago, followed by fatigue and more sugar cravings. When this occurs, I usually become I'll and sure enough, I am ill.  I have a sinus infection from inhaling second hand smoke at one of my client's house and I am frustrated by my inability to stay awake and focus on what I'm doing.  A depression and anxiety always accompanies my illnesses.  I'm grouchy, fearfull and worrisome during these times. 

Usually.

I'm tired of being this way.  No matter how many times I've gone through these sugar cravings because my body is screaming for energy fuel because I am in the process of or have already run myself down...I have a hard time stopping the process.  My body, like and aged mule comes to a screeching halt and I doesn't want to budge.  I thought well, maybe I'll put this blogging thing on hold.  Or maybe I should give up my morning pages.

For the past year, I've fallen ill approximately every 2 months.  I've never been so sick so often.  I've been very busy, very stressed and might as well lay down in the desert  and wait for the buzzards to arrive.  I'm tired.  But, I'm not sure of what I'm tired of and when I figure it out...what will I be able to do about it?A
As,I dorve up to my house this afternoon, some creepy white guy sitting out in fron of my house, sat there.  I thought it was weird and as an afterthought, I decided to go outside and ask him if he needed some help or was looking for someone.

When I turned around to walk towards the fools truck, he looked as though he was writing something down, possibly my license plate number and sped off.  I don't even have the energy to call after the fool or call the poice.   If I call the police and tell them that some peculiar looking guy was sitting in the cul-de-sac near my house writing license plate numbers down, -I think--what would thaeey do.

Anyway...I think I'm getting spoiled by doing this blogg on the computer.  It's so much easier than writing in the journal and my right hand doesn't hurt from gripping the pen too tight.

This is not a writing kinda day for me.  When I feel like this I usually throw in the towel.  I decide that I've bogged my self down by choosing to do too many things at once, and unburdening myself in my notebook each day is too much of a strain and since it's so much easier to run out into the street and please every passerby I see, I'd rather do that.

Not this time.