Okay...My Daughter Myself?

an lions and tigers and bears and o my? i just had a fight with my daughter about her disrespectfulness and how she behaves towards me and i became enraged and hit her windshield with my fist as she drove.  fortunately, neither the windshield nor my fist broke.  i was really upset with her but decided that  i would stop being upset with her because I am just wasting my energy and storing up bad karma for myself.

The argument was about the fact that she was disrespectful.  Of course she didn't take too kindly at my calling her disrespectul After all, she's 24.  She says she is staying with A this week and I told her that maybe she should just move in with her auntie. I think she is.

I will miss her as she. But what I think I really will miss is she as she was.  I vibrant and loyal teenager the yes mommied me into the rebillious and resentful 24 year old that she is now.

I often recount to myself how eager I was to have a little girl, despite the fact that I thought she was going to be a little boy.  My determination to avoid the creation of the same relationship that I had with my mother, basically resulted in my recreating my relationship with my mother. Despite my efforts to give her all of the love and attention that a mother could give, she now voices the same complaints that I had?

How could this be?

I've heard throughout my life that if you don't know your history, you are doomed to repeat it. I'd say even if you know your history...you are doomed to repeat it...in one way or another.  I believe that we are on a crash course with fate the day that we are born. (But, Ill save that for another post). The forces of genetics. and learned behaviorare just too strong to override.  Regardless, I can still choose to do somethings differently.
One of the thing is to let go of my daughter.  Another thing is to cling to God, and  myself.

I'm still a little hurt by some of the things that my dughter said to me.  But, I'll get over it.  In the meantime,  I get to learn some new skills like: continuing to t take care of myself, loving her  and wishing her the best.