i'm in virginia with my long lost friend. i met her when i was about 20 and we've been friends ever since. that was about 32 years ago. she's another one of those people that i kept asking back then, why she wanted to be my friend. my self-esteem was so low, at the time, i couldn't imagine that anyone would want to be bothered. i don't remember what she said, but we're still friends. she made me laugh and infused me with courage and wisdom that she had developed from many of the trials and tirbulations that she had experienced in her young life. she's only 4 years older than i.
i hadn't seen her for 12 years, didn't know where she lived and one day my daughter was sitting on the couch reading to herself, a plaque that hangson the wall in the living room. it reads," some people walk into your life and quietly go. while others stay awhile and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never the same"... . i said to my daughter ."do you know that k gave me that when i was leaving boston?" and my daughter replied " really...where is she?" " i don't know," i sighed "i sure wish i could find her. " my baby girl proceeded to do some sleuthing on facebook and the rest is history.
(i hadn't quit my job yet).
anyway, i was talking to k a couple of days after i quit my job and she said i seemed scattered. " i am", i admitted.
and i wasn't sure why except, i had made a couple of important decisions besides quitting my job (and that's a whole novel in and of itself). one was that i would focus more on my insides than my outsides and that i would attach myself to the ephemeral and eternal and begin to slowly detach from the earthly and temporary. i did not know why i made that decision, nor did i know the magnitude of the decision that i made.
thus... scatttered and confused.
everything that we identify ourselves with makes us who we are.
if we shed those things then who do we become? initially, we become scattered and confused...(to be continued).
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