My Friend In Deed

I went to the auto insurance company today to pay my bill. It had been a while since I had talked to Elise, my agent so,I decided to stop in. For the past three months or so,  a couple of young men had been running the office. The last time I stopped in,  I was getting used to doing business with them.  But I always hoped to see, looked forward to sitting down and chatting with Elise when I was there. 
When I got there, an African American woman sat at the desk.  I found out that her name was Alexandria later.  I said to her, " Boy, it looks like everytime I come in here there's somebody new at the desk."
She smiled and answered proudly, "Well, I'm here now.  Hope I can stay for a while".
"Yeah", I replied.  Then I asked, "Where is Elise?" I haven't seen her for a while?
She said, "Oh, you didn't hear about what happened?" 
I sort of chuckled and smirked thinking thatshe was going to come up with some unfounded or unbelievably, gossipy rumor. But instead  she replied, "Elise is dead."  For a minute I thought she had gotten Elise mixed up with someone else.
 "What?" I said staring through her as if I thought that I'd be able to see the lie that I knew she was telling me fade as it escaped from her mouth.  "What?".
Her words grew softer and softer, and became almost inaudible to me as she spoke, bouncing off of me, hitting the wall and sliding to the floor.
 "She died.  Her husband, killed her and then killed himself.  Right there in the parking lot.  I tried to sit with my hands in my head for a minute. But the horror cut me so deep that the pain was too overwhelming to sit through.
 "Oh my God.  Oh my God!"  I stood up and walked to the window.
 At first I wanted to run outside and scream my lungs out but I just kept saying,
"Oh my God",  in an effort to just begin to process what I had just heard.
 And then came the flood of tears.
I'm still incredulous.
Elise was the kindest and most giving person that I had ever done business with.  I'd gotten to know her over a period of four years.  She always smiled and always had something funny to say. She was more than an insurance agent.She was my friend.
I apologized to Alexandria for the melt down.  I was embarassed at the public display of grief, but I couldn't help it.  I was overwhelmed.  I still am.
 I try not to question God but I began to wonder, that if he had to take someone, why couldn't it have just be  her husband.
Why..of all people. Elise? And why that way? .
I remember her saying to me once that he threatens but he would never do anything.  I remember telling her that she needed to make sure that she protected herself.  I remember.
.. And I hurt.
I wanted to be angry and blame God, but I had to remember that He knows best and that we all have choices.
And then I decided to thank God...Thank HIm for allowing me to meet Elise and getting to know her, for allowing me to come to appreciate and admire who she was and learn from that.  And most of all I am grateful to be reminded of  the fact that we are all living on borrowed time and that is worth the effort to try to make the best of whatever time we have here, because regardless of what choices we make, the time is not ours.  I have often said, "Our children are loaners." If your really think about it...We all are.

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