Aftershock or Change

After writing that letter to my director about my manager, I thought I'd feel better after I wrote it, but I don't.
I am baffled by this.  I think that the inequity, dysfunction and denial  in American society, is so deep-seeded and wide spread and that people just are just clueless, I have to keep checking in with myself to make sure that I did the right thing.  People seem to think that they have a right to step all over you especially if that feel that they have a higher status or position in life. And that is so weird to me.

Racism still exists.  I can't say that my manager is racist, but I will say that whatever issues she has, have fooled her into believing that she has authority that really doesn't belong to her. It is an institution in this country that is also deeply rooted. And realistically, I don't think that it will ever go away.  I see it everyday, in the way that the office is organized, in the way that I am treated and in the differences in the way the patients are treated.  It is something that has existed since the beginning of human existance.  And I believe in a lot of ways, it's primitive nature is an outdated survival tactic whose instinctual basis overrides any intellectual reasoning that is supposed to be the corner stone of what we call civilization.

If we were driven more by our intellect and reason, than by instinct would it make sense to despise someone or treat someone poorly simply because of their external appearance?  And would we be headed into the vortex of self-destruction?

My old psyche, tries to make me feel guilty about what I did.  But I have a right to take care of myself and defend what I know to be true. But, what is daunting is the fact that what may be true for the majority may or may not be true for one person, and if that person is not strong enough to withstand pressure of going against the grain, it can skew their sense of existence to the point of oblivion.

What the tides of denial have often done for me in the past, has caused me to adopt someone else's sense of reality.  But today, I can no longer exist in the world watching pink polka dotted elephants trample my sense of self and ignore it.
Regardless, of what happens, I will stand my ground... For me.

A true hero, first champions his own cause.