I wish I could fast forward through this day instead of live through the incredible "agony of defeat" that I feel. Why can't I just accept things the way they are? My son is sick this morning. He is in pain. I have tragedized the situation and created fear in my soul. I don't know what is wrong with him and I am upset. I need to take him to the doctor but, have run out of funds for the week and I don't get paid until Friday...What have I done to have this happen? Further, he is out of school again today. He was out of school last Thursday and a previous Monday. I don't want a truant officer knocking on my door. I've already had to deal with social services this year. Now what?
I guess I'll have to suck it up and take as it comes.
Things could be worse. I just read a news story about a young chinese girl who was killed in Canada. Her boyfriend saw her on webcam get into a struggle with some stranger and then the webcam went off. Now, that is real tragedy. Her parents said that they heard the knews on television but had hoped that they were talking about someone else. I can't imagine what that would be like. My worries pale in comparison to their reality. I feel for them.
I want to feel better, confident and loving towards myself and my situation. But, I feel like a total screw up. Why is my son not feeling well? Why don't I have a job and a life that I love. What job and life would I like or love and what difference would it make in how I view the world?
If I skip this day, what exactly would I be trying to avoid?
Where's Doc?
I guess I'll have to suck it up and take as it comes.
Things could be worse. I just read a news story about a young chinese girl who was killed in Canada. Her boyfriend saw her on webcam get into a struggle with some stranger and then the webcam went off. Now, that is real tragedy. Her parents said that they heard the knews on television but had hoped that they were talking about someone else. I can't imagine what that would be like. My worries pale in comparison to their reality. I feel for them.
I want to feel better, confident and loving towards myself and my situation. But, I feel like a total screw up. Why is my son not feeling well? Why don't I have a job and a life that I love. What job and life would I like or love and what difference would it make in how I view the world?
If I skip this day, what exactly would I be trying to avoid?
Where's Doc?
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