Is This the Way to Emerald City?

I am on vacation.  Well, I wouldn't really call it that.  I took a week off from work to be with my son during his spring vacation.  My car broke down and I left it on the side of the road collecting bird droppings. Then, I received a notice from the towing company saying that I owe them 200.00 which I didn't have in the first place. I've been in the house all week and the only time I went outside was to barbecue on easter because my air conditioning went out and it was too hot to turn on the oven.

I have no money.

I'm not complaining, just setting up this situation so that I can talk about it in my blog.

I am tireder than I was the week before this vacation.  No wonder I went into a slump  before hand.  I have not left this house to go see any sight.  I wanted to go home to Boston but with no car and no cash, I would have had to hitch hike or take a cab and neither one of those options appealed to me. Especially, with a nine year old with spring hayfever in tow.

But, I've been thinking alot since I have been off work.  I have been thinking about me, my life and what I need to do to make it more enjoyable.  Some people would say that life is not supposed to be enjoyable.  But, I don't believe that.  I've had this horrible discomfort from being still.  I think it was a good idea to take time off because I have an inkling that I was about approaching another episode of burnout.  This way I've slowed the process a bit to a crawl...but I still feel like I'm headed to burnout station.

Is this the way it feels after being in a profession so long.

I'm not desnsitized.  I'm just damned tired.(Excuse me for saying the D word)

Anyway, I called my sister the other day and told her that I was tired and had this feeling that I just couldn't go anymore.  She says, "Now don't start that mess, you can do it, just keep going".  Then, I said, I want to do something else for a career, I can't do this anymore.  She said,  "You have to.  You have to have money to survive, while you are figuring out a way to do what it is that you want to do."  I told her that that is something to think about.

The fact, that you have to have money to survive.  Well if you have to have money to survive, what does it take to live. I'm tired of just surviving.  I'm ready to move it up a notch.  I'm still thinking about the money requirement for survival...