I'm tired today.  I want to go back to bed.  I tried to hide from myself when I accepted a second job in addition to a job that I already have.  I feel guilty because I could not keep the other job.  I feel anxious because I have been consuming an excessive amout of sugar in order to try to keep up with both jobs.  I'm tired today.

I was going to close "Angst" but I will continue to write until I this blog is complete.  If you live a life of angst...is it in vain.  It's cloudy outside and I want to go out.  Maybe I should try going for a walk.  I journaled this morning but dare I go back and look at what I've written. 

Issues with my family plague me.  It is strange to feel so far apart from my siblings.  I can see clearly who they are...but can they see me? Do they even care that I'm here? 

I remember being suicidal in my life.  People commit suicide when they feel that they've exhausted all of their options.  It is an act completely born out of desparation and hopelessness. Suicidal people feel cornered by life and claustrophobic, what else is there when you can't seem to move out of the place you are in?

The operative word is "seem".  Things are not always what they seem to be.  In a society where comfort has to be instantaneous and everyone wants to be loved and admired and important and rich and thinks that they are entitled to that just because they were born...what's left when you find out that you are not? 

Seem.

To keep on going and work at finding out who you are.  A reason to be.  Everyone has one...