I'm going to do an experiment starting today and try to squeeze all of the joy out of life that I can. Or, infuse all of the joy that I can into my life...Today, I start my life living one day at a time for 365 days. I've tried this experiment before. But, I didn't do it for a prolonged period of time. I can't say that I'll write everyday, but I will note everyday. Be aware of everyday. Hopefully, appreciate everyday.
My young son was late for school this morning. I set his bedtime to ten o'clock. He goes to bed on time but I think he needs to go to bed earlier since he's in the 5th grade. I want to just go back to sleep. I'm not tired but, it feels good to sleep. That just seems like the best activity in the world right now...sleeping. Maybe that's why my young son was late for school.
His father is leaving for Virginia today. He and his wife/ girlfriend. I wish them well. I'm tired of struggling here. I want to move to Massachusetts. But, what will I do there? Will my life will be all warm and fuzzy and cozy there? Will I gain riches? Will I make friends?
I am still reading Deepak Chopra's book. It is actually very good. It might have been a good idea for me to finish reading it before I said anything about it. It talks about accessing the soul. I have been ignoring mine for no good reason that I can think of. What is wrong with me? I don't want to leave Georgia for no good reason that I can think of except, if I leave, I will be bouncing all over the place. I want to travel and visit home more.
I don't like to dress up. But, I might feel better if I dress up. I dressed up the other night to go to a friends wedding shower. She is getting married on this Sunday. I was going to go to the wedding but, since my young son's dad is leaving, I won't have anyone to watch him. And I don't have anything to wear. I could have bought something to wear.
This is what I tend to do. Now I see why things cause me so much anxiety. I will wait until the last minute and then go look for something to wear. Then, I'll be all tense and sweaty when I get dressed.. and nervous. And then I will not want to go because I don't think I look right, but I will go anyway. I told W...... that I would go to her wedding. But, with my circumstances changed, it is going to be too stressful to go. I have a headache thinking about it.
Chopra says to get out of stressful situations. That's what people are doing when they commit suicide. What lengths do you go through to get out of stressful situations? I would quit my job and go back home. That would be letting go of the stress, but then I am absolutely certain that I'd find more stress somewhere. I can create stress...easily. Stress is a habit for me. It makes me feel more alive, fulfilled and important. I know that that is crazy as hell. I think that I am addicted to stress.
So, how do you cure a stress addiction?
My young son was late for school this morning. I set his bedtime to ten o'clock. He goes to bed on time but I think he needs to go to bed earlier since he's in the 5th grade. I want to just go back to sleep. I'm not tired but, it feels good to sleep. That just seems like the best activity in the world right now...sleeping. Maybe that's why my young son was late for school.
His father is leaving for Virginia today. He and his wife/ girlfriend. I wish them well. I'm tired of struggling here. I want to move to Massachusetts. But, what will I do there? Will my life will be all warm and fuzzy and cozy there? Will I gain riches? Will I make friends?
I am still reading Deepak Chopra's book. It is actually very good. It might have been a good idea for me to finish reading it before I said anything about it. It talks about accessing the soul. I have been ignoring mine for no good reason that I can think of. What is wrong with me? I don't want to leave Georgia for no good reason that I can think of except, if I leave, I will be bouncing all over the place. I want to travel and visit home more.
I don't like to dress up. But, I might feel better if I dress up. I dressed up the other night to go to a friends wedding shower. She is getting married on this Sunday. I was going to go to the wedding but, since my young son's dad is leaving, I won't have anyone to watch him. And I don't have anything to wear. I could have bought something to wear.
This is what I tend to do. Now I see why things cause me so much anxiety. I will wait until the last minute and then go look for something to wear. Then, I'll be all tense and sweaty when I get dressed.. and nervous. And then I will not want to go because I don't think I look right, but I will go anyway. I told W...... that I would go to her wedding. But, with my circumstances changed, it is going to be too stressful to go. I have a headache thinking about it.
Chopra says to get out of stressful situations. That's what people are doing when they commit suicide. What lengths do you go through to get out of stressful situations? I would quit my job and go back home. That would be letting go of the stress, but then I am absolutely certain that I'd find more stress somewhere. I can create stress...easily. Stress is a habit for me. It makes me feel more alive, fulfilled and important. I know that that is crazy as hell. I think that I am addicted to stress.
So, how do you cure a stress addiction?
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