The Still

I've decided to do a project where I will blog for thirty days straight on being quiet and still and see what I gain...or not.  I mean being inwardly quiet and still  not making snap decisions and not impulsively reacting to every threat that the world brings.  I am OMG'ing myself into an early grave.  Wake up call #1 here recently has been my little sister, my youngest sister...the baby of the family having a spontaneous pneumothorax while trying to run the world.  The One who really runs the world has strongly suggested that my sister take a break while He handles thing.  A badly needed break.

I've had to take breaks from running the world.  I finally quit one day when I realized that I couldn;t prevent the tsunami's, earthquakes and global warming that are constantly shaking things up.  I couldn't prevent the suffering from those disasters either so I figured that I'd let go.  I wasn't doing that good a job anyway. 

One thing that I noticed is that, while I was always buisy, I never seemed to accomplish much and the things that were my responsibility to handle most often went undone.  So while I tried to wish away the disasters of the world, I was creating my own internal disasters, and I realized that with my own internal ruins piling atop one another...I am absolutely useless to myself or anyone else.

So, I sit still, looking deep down into the rabbit hole of my internal being and becoming familiar with what's contained, housed there.  Scary prospect, but the external distractions of life and society more often than not leave many of us staring in the mirrors at strangers. 

I've discovered by default that the most frightening existence in life is one devoid of self knowledge.  I have to be still and quiet so I can familiarize myself with the rhythm of my heartbeat.  That to me is a life still...worth living.