This morning I decided to go to B&N bookstore to blog and journal. Most days, I receive a great sense of freedom from blogging. But, lately my efforts to express myself-so to speak-are a little strained. It is hard for me to write without feeling guilty about what I write. Nobody is really looking at this right?
Maybe it's the paranoia from all the news I've been reading about Google and Facebook and how they can look at your personal stuff and how Facebook can go into your past.
So what? I tell myself. There are things about my past that I'd rather not remember, but I feel that if someone want's to waste their time digging up old stuff from the past so that they can laud it over you and ruin your life...so be it. People...especially the ones who have money...think that they are God.
But, they must be miserable. If you are so hell bent on controlling someone else's life that you don't care how it affects them, you'd have to be miserable.
Then, some people are miserable and don't know it. They mask it with something else. Anyway, the information here is vague. I thought that maybe I would just stop writing stuff on Facebook, but if they can already look at my past, then I guess I won't. The government probably wants to do this for surveillance purposes--so they say.
With the advent of technology, we might as well strike the work privacy from our vocabulary.
Anyway, I wanted to write about something else. I'm not relaxed writing at all. Not owning my words. How do I own them? I guess I just have to write whatever it is that comes to my head. I am probably threatening writer block. I thought I was just real tired and I tried to sleep, but I have this excess energy that won't dissipate. I don't know where it's all coming from.
I went to my ex-friend S--- house a couple of weeks ago. I hadn't seen her for about three or four years and was wondering how she was doing. Why I did that I have no idea. I have her phone number but, we aren't friends anymore for a reason. She said that she didn't like or trust women. That women could not be her friend, just associates.
She proved not to be a good friend. I left my number in her door and she called me. I talked to her for a long time but, decided not to call her back. She's right where I left her. I have moved on.
My thoughts are random. My young son woke up this morning in a panic because he had heard the fron door slam. He came in my room, locked the door and put his head under the covers. I got up and opened the door and he went into hysterics. I assured him that there was no intruder downstairs and he finally settled down.
When we woke up this morning, he said he had a sore throat. He hinted at staying home but I wouldn't let him. I don't know what to say. I looked at his throat and told him that he had to go to school. He went. This music with Frank Sinatra and Tony Bennett singing with various artists is kinda cool. I like it.
I bought a cup of coffee at QT this morning. I am trying to stop drinking it. I'm thinking that drinking an excess of aspartame and maltodextrin is what is making me so jittery. Or, so crazy. I guess I'll have to strike those from my diet too.
My friend K---- got mad at me the other day because I decided not to take the ten hour drive to Virginia. She is sitting on a deserted island waiting for someone to save her. I am not that superhero or heroine. I don't think I'll go visit her for a few years. She is really crazy. She was upset because I told her that one of my coworkers was going to have a wedding shower and I wanted to go.
Now, if you had a choice of driving 45 minutes to a wedding shower or 10 hours to visit a friend who has serious anger and control issues and is a chain smoker...where would you go? No brainer! I've known her for over 30 years. I must've been just as crazy as she was back then. Everytime something doesn't go her way she throws these mega tantrums. I sent her some money a couple of weeks ago and when she went into her rant she said that I sent it cause I knew I wasn't coming and I was trying to placate her. Talking about self-centered and ungrateful!
I am done.
Maybe it's the paranoia from all the news I've been reading about Google and Facebook and how they can look at your personal stuff and how Facebook can go into your past.
So what? I tell myself. There are things about my past that I'd rather not remember, but I feel that if someone want's to waste their time digging up old stuff from the past so that they can laud it over you and ruin your life...so be it. People...especially the ones who have money...think that they are God.
But, they must be miserable. If you are so hell bent on controlling someone else's life that you don't care how it affects them, you'd have to be miserable.
Then, some people are miserable and don't know it. They mask it with something else. Anyway, the information here is vague. I thought that maybe I would just stop writing stuff on Facebook, but if they can already look at my past, then I guess I won't. The government probably wants to do this for surveillance purposes--so they say.
With the advent of technology, we might as well strike the work privacy from our vocabulary.
Anyway, I wanted to write about something else. I'm not relaxed writing at all. Not owning my words. How do I own them? I guess I just have to write whatever it is that comes to my head. I am probably threatening writer block. I thought I was just real tired and I tried to sleep, but I have this excess energy that won't dissipate. I don't know where it's all coming from.
I went to my ex-friend S--- house a couple of weeks ago. I hadn't seen her for about three or four years and was wondering how she was doing. Why I did that I have no idea. I have her phone number but, we aren't friends anymore for a reason. She said that she didn't like or trust women. That women could not be her friend, just associates.
She proved not to be a good friend. I left my number in her door and she called me. I talked to her for a long time but, decided not to call her back. She's right where I left her. I have moved on.
My thoughts are random. My young son woke up this morning in a panic because he had heard the fron door slam. He came in my room, locked the door and put his head under the covers. I got up and opened the door and he went into hysterics. I assured him that there was no intruder downstairs and he finally settled down.
When we woke up this morning, he said he had a sore throat. He hinted at staying home but I wouldn't let him. I don't know what to say. I looked at his throat and told him that he had to go to school. He went. This music with Frank Sinatra and Tony Bennett singing with various artists is kinda cool. I like it.
I bought a cup of coffee at QT this morning. I am trying to stop drinking it. I'm thinking that drinking an excess of aspartame and maltodextrin is what is making me so jittery. Or, so crazy. I guess I'll have to strike those from my diet too.
My friend K---- got mad at me the other day because I decided not to take the ten hour drive to Virginia. She is sitting on a deserted island waiting for someone to save her. I am not that superhero or heroine. I don't think I'll go visit her for a few years. She is really crazy. She was upset because I told her that one of my coworkers was going to have a wedding shower and I wanted to go.
Now, if you had a choice of driving 45 minutes to a wedding shower or 10 hours to visit a friend who has serious anger and control issues and is a chain smoker...where would you go? No brainer! I've known her for over 30 years. I must've been just as crazy as she was back then. Everytime something doesn't go her way she throws these mega tantrums. I sent her some money a couple of weeks ago and when she went into her rant she said that I sent it cause I knew I wasn't coming and I was trying to placate her. Talking about self-centered and ungrateful!
I am done.
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