I've been depressed here lately. I've found myself on an emotional downward spiral that started last week. It's not that I'm crazy either. I feel tired and jittery and all I want to do is sleep. I don't even want to write these days. Haven't been writing in my journal. Just journaling on my blog.
If I look at the things that have me weighed down at this point, maybe I can shut my eyes and have them go away. But, I doubt it. Life, for me is really not that bad. Then, why can't I just snap out of this ? Maybe, I have seasonal affective disorder. They've got a name for everything. I never thought about it before.
First, I got sick. Then, I decided that I needed a social life. Then, my ex, my young son's father decides that he is going to move to Virginia. That leaves me searching for childcare. Then, then. I start looking at work and some of the things that we have to deal with and some of the ethical considerations that everyone ignores. The burden on the nurse there is just too heavy.
If you have a patient that is sick enough...terminal...advancing towards death and the doctor doesn't know what to do, you don't sit there and just let the patient struggle to breath. The patient's care has to be geared towards something. If the doctor says that he doesn't know what to do...then...what isthe nurse supposed to do. We are told that we have to act a certain way because this doctor supplies the floor with patients.
I say call a code.
The daughter is sitting there holding her breath because she does not know that there is help or whether anything that can be done for her loved one. Then you call a code and the people that you work with want you to justify it... I vote my conscious and uphold my own code of ethics. The ones that I was taught before I came to Georgia. Cause honestly...
The downward spiral started last week when I decided that I don't want to be a journaling recluse anymore. I went out to breakfast with my coworker Sunday morning and I just had a feeling that I shouldna done that. I have never had a desire to go out to eat breakfast with her. She is dysfunctional and has some issues that I just can't quite put my finger on.
Frankly, she scares me.
Then there was that med error at work Sunday night. It didn't start there though...I said that it started the previous week when I decided that I wanted to turn myself into a social butterfly. Maybe I should stay in my cocoon.
I've always been rather clumsy at living my life. Maybe becoming a social butterfly shouldn't be a priority, not now anyway. I have a lot of trouble with trust. I trust the wrong people. I.E. the aforementioned coworker. Or, I don't trust anyone. That is a recipe for a hermits life.
I thought it was the med error that was bothering me of fear of losing my job. But, that's not it. I have lot's of stuff swirling in my head.
WHERE IS MY JOURNAL?????!!@!!!!!!!#WERT&$%)()(*&*#$@%^*&(_)
I have so many baffling questions in my head. Like how do I deal with this job? My boss never calls me, except when I do something wrong. If this hospital ever makes magnet...I will be surprised--and dismayed. Not only that, my boss doesn't like me. I don't really like her either. She's a liar and she's phony and crazy to boot.
I hope she never reads this.
If I look at the things that have me weighed down at this point, maybe I can shut my eyes and have them go away. But, I doubt it. Life, for me is really not that bad. Then, why can't I just snap out of this ? Maybe, I have seasonal affective disorder. They've got a name for everything. I never thought about it before.
First, I got sick. Then, I decided that I needed a social life. Then, my ex, my young son's father decides that he is going to move to Virginia. That leaves me searching for childcare. Then, then. I start looking at work and some of the things that we have to deal with and some of the ethical considerations that everyone ignores. The burden on the nurse there is just too heavy.
If you have a patient that is sick enough...terminal...advancing towards death and the doctor doesn't know what to do, you don't sit there and just let the patient struggle to breath. The patient's care has to be geared towards something. If the doctor says that he doesn't know what to do...then...what isthe nurse supposed to do. We are told that we have to act a certain way because this doctor supplies the floor with patients.
I say call a code.
The daughter is sitting there holding her breath because she does not know that there is help or whether anything that can be done for her loved one. Then you call a code and the people that you work with want you to justify it... I vote my conscious and uphold my own code of ethics. The ones that I was taught before I came to Georgia. Cause honestly...
The downward spiral started last week when I decided that I don't want to be a journaling recluse anymore. I went out to breakfast with my coworker Sunday morning and I just had a feeling that I shouldna done that. I have never had a desire to go out to eat breakfast with her. She is dysfunctional and has some issues that I just can't quite put my finger on.
Frankly, she scares me.
Then there was that med error at work Sunday night. It didn't start there though...I said that it started the previous week when I decided that I wanted to turn myself into a social butterfly. Maybe I should stay in my cocoon.
I've always been rather clumsy at living my life. Maybe becoming a social butterfly shouldn't be a priority, not now anyway. I have a lot of trouble with trust. I trust the wrong people. I.E. the aforementioned coworker. Or, I don't trust anyone. That is a recipe for a hermits life.
I thought it was the med error that was bothering me of fear of losing my job. But, that's not it. I have lot's of stuff swirling in my head.
WHERE IS MY JOURNAL?????!!@!!!!!!!#WERT&$%)()(*&*#$@%^*&(_)
I have so many baffling questions in my head. Like how do I deal with this job? My boss never calls me, except when I do something wrong. If this hospital ever makes magnet...I will be surprised--and dismayed. Not only that, my boss doesn't like me. I don't really like her either. She's a liar and she's phony and crazy to boot.
I hope she never reads this.
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